12-10-09: ...Out of Respect For Others

Be Better Guys is a big believer that men (and women) should care about how they look. We believe it for the simple reason that people will make judgments about you based on your appearance before you say Word One: "That guy looks important" or "Dude's a slob" or "He always looks regal" or whatever people say about other guys.

Good article today by Sally Quinn in the Washington Post about the importance of looking good - that you do it out of respect and dignity for the people who have invited you to their party. Plus it's better to be the best-dressed guy in the room than the worst. Get more girls that way...

DB

12-8-09: Gig Number 1 Is In The Books

This isn't a particularly funny or ironic anecdote or something where you'll learn some Be Better Guys tidbut but I thought it was worth sharing - so this morning was the 1st and 2nd grade musical that I'm playing guitar in. And what this whole experience has been - from last Thursday when a 7-year-old asked me aloud why I hadn't practiced better! to today when we delivered the first of two shows - is totally inspirational. The show is secular; it's a kiddie show on geology. But it's so great to watch the kids prepare and deliver this show for 45 minutes straight: from the ones that have complete confidence at 8 to the ones who look scared frozed BUT DELIVER THEIR LINES ANYWAY! And while the music's still real doofy and the lyrics way corny I'm smiling through the entire set.

It's the most fun I've had in years playing. I started last Thursday and just like that our last show is tomorrow; one week and it's over. Fleeting but damn am I having fun. Tomorrow I might even solo! But I have to do it REALLY quietly so I don't drown out the whispering 1st graders singing their words.
DB

12-4-09: Just 'Cause I Got Called Out By A 7-Year-Old...Who Wasn't Mine

This story really has nothing to do with Be Better Guys but gives a window to my world - about a week ago a neighbor...British woman who plays drums...asked me to play guitar in the band to back up the 1st and 2nd graders for their winter play. At first I kind of re-negged and wasn't that interested because I hate kiddie music but then I said sure. I don't have a 1st or 2nd grader but i know like a third of these kids so what the hell.

She hands off the music and a CD of the tunes and asks me to practice up. I put on the first cut last weekend and the music is so treacly kiddie that i couldn't make it thru the 2nd tune. But I've committed so I can't back out now.

So yesterday was the first rehearsal with the kids and I saunter in 10 mins late (not very BBG) and dig this - the kids have been practicing these 10 tunes for like two months. THEY'VE GOT ALL THE PARTS MEMORIZED! And here I am having not listened to anything and I'm sightreading these charts and bumbling along because the music - while not hard - has more chord changes and key changes then any kiddie music should have.

So this little girl - about 7 - comes up to me during the break and says "Hi Mister...have you practiced any of these songs?"

So I say "Oh sure kid...yeah...you know...I just went through them a few weeks ago and you know...when you get old like me you...well...forget things and ...ummm....I think I sound kind of good!"

I GOT DRESSED DOWN BY A 7-YEAR-OLD!!

Jesus.

Naturally we have another rehearsal at 0900 tomorrow morning. I'll be prompt. That kid better keep her distance....

12-3-09: How About Some Useful Gift Ideas for the Wine Lover In Your Life?

You Be Better Guys followers know that I'm a big wine fan - fighting back against the geek stature. I try not to be a snot about it but I do like to educate folks who know less than I do (which ain't very much) about some of the things I've learned about wine basics. Wine is an affordable luxury that scares most guys and it shouldn't . Learning about it takes a bit of dedication and a real desire to want to learn something new.

We've written some articles that explain the basics of wine knowledge and their REAL easy to digest. But I also found a good article in the Washington Post yesterday that calls out some great gifts for the person who digs wine this holiday season. You can even get some of these items for yourself...like a bunch of corkscrews. Come to think of it - I could use a new one or five.

DB

12-2-09: How About Some Quick Tips on How To Make an Impression? Today!

Be Better Guys has started working with a colleague - a speaker based in the DC Metro area by the name of Arnold Sanow - and we love to talk about how to be charming and what you do to develop and improve your personal brand (yes it matters fellas). So does Arnold. He sent out 21 quick tips on how you can make an impact on folks you meet - either professionally or personally - and these are tips you can use right now. You can subscribe to Arnold's tips newsletter here. If you want to reach Arnold directly email him at speaker@arnoldsanow.com. You have to sign up for his newsletter to get all 21 tips but here are 4 of my favorites to whet your appetite...I know y'all will learn a thing or three!:

1. Make an extra effort to remember people's names. As Dale Carnegie said "the sweetest sound to a person is their name." -


2. Display your sense of humor. People remember humor six times longer than regular conversation.


3. Speak their language. If someone just wants to hear facts don't give them anecdotes and stories.


4. Compliment others about what they are wearing or doing or saying. But be sincere.

Read the rest when you sign up for his useful newsletter. By the way - these tips above...oh yeah they're basic. They're elementary. No I don't think you're JV. But come one - how often do you really practice even the 4 tips listed? Put 'em to use and make your boss or your colleagues or that woman you're going to meet at happy hour tonight recongize that you're an impact player.

DB

11-29-09: Can A Regular Guy Learn Anything From Tiger?

You bet your ass you can. Look - I know we're all up Tiger's tush and whatever went down between him and Elin isn't our business BUT BUT BUT when you are one of the world's biggest stars and have become rich because of it he needs to...get in front of a microphone and own up to whatever's going on.

Why?

Because when you don't the rest of us will formulate what's happening in his marriage/family/life and come to judgments that are obviously wrong. Why does this matter? Because we care about golf. I personally don't but most guys do. And Tiger is Michael Jordan of golf. And because we care about golf we've made him very very rich and very very available. If Tiger played ping-pong we wouldn't care about him. But because of the sport he plays and his dominance in that sport and because WE MADE THAT IMPORTANT TO US ALL he needs to speak up. Otherwise our the very reason we've made him a star - our judgments about him and about the sport he plays - are in jeopardy.

Not serious jeopardy mind you. He's having a fight with his wife. Fine. So do I. So do we all. But no-one cares when I go for a drive at 3 am to clear my mind. Tiger's different. He should behave differently.

That's where you come in. When you have an issue happening to you you need to own up to it as soon as you can so others don't formulate the community of opinion about you before you have the chance to set the record straight. I had a major gaffe at work myself and instead of running and hiding when I had all eyes on me I went right at the problem and cleared the air.

Being evasive - YOU being evasive - is way worse than you stepping up to the podium and explaining whatever happened that's causing us all to pay attention to you. It's what a man does and what a Better Guy does.

Let's see how long it takes Tiger to realize this...even if we should get out of his shorts.

DB

11-23-09: Some Wine Advice You Can Use TODAY

Yo fellas - we at Be Better Guys believe that one of the luxuries of life that any guy can master with just a little bit of effort is wine. I used to know NOTHING about wine a little over 10 years ago and it was reading articles in the Washington Post that helped me educate myself for free. Now I'm not a Grand Master and I have no interest in that. I don't want to talk about the "nose" of anything or the "bouquet" or the "notes" of something in my glass.

In fact I think people who do that in casual company are penises. But I do believe that knowing a bit about wine enhances most meals (yes that includes breakfast!) plus wine makes a great gift for parties and women usually like men who have some confidence with the wine list at the restaurant. In my travels your woman would really like it if you knew the difference between Cabernet Sauvignon and Sauvignon Blanc (and Cabernet Franc and Pinot Blanc).

It's articles like this one that helped me cut my teeth. Check out this baby on wines that work for a complicated meal like Thanksgiving. I really like the Beaujolais Neuveau suggestion. When you go see your family and you want to keep it peaceful and reasonably pleasant bring a bottle or two of the recommendations here and your Dad will actually think he taught you something.

DB